Can’t believe how much has changed! I laugh for the most part reading all of these old posts… LMAO. Made a new Tumblr, hit me up if you wanna know it to follow. 

I love you. I miss you. I HATE that you’re gone. My days are shitty. Maybe not always, but they are most of the time. I MUST hear from you soon or else I really WILL go insane. 

October 20th… PLEASE come quickly! ); 

con estos pinche errores. Cada vez que trato engregar a mi perfil en estos horarios, algo me dice que no puedo. -_____-; Pero ya con eso. Estoy muy ansiosa para manana que no me deja dormir. Ya es la 3 de la manana y no puedo dormir, nesecito ALGO de descanso—SEIS horas carro! Prepare mis cosas, y ahora me falta a dormir. La verdad NESECITO alguien que siempre puedo hablar con en tiempos como esto. Siempre ando despierta demasiado tarde… =/ ojalar que me puedo dormir en unos minutos. 

Espero que este viaje va bien. La verdad como no me voy a poner nerviosa? Voy a conocer mas gente que no conozco y son muy importantes. Te juro… Voy a murir si mi celular no llege en el correo manana. ); Si pasa eso… No voy a poder communicarme con NADIE. Ughhh! Salvame?

So… these past two days were pretty great. I had the feeling of not having to worry about anything or anyone here in SD. It was a mini escape. Not vacation at all, just visiting my sister. But it was worth it… REALLY worth it. Okay not ‘REALLY’ since we barely spent time together, but some parts made my trip very worth the wait<3 

And yet… No longer than an hour after I get back to SD today, am I very irritated. It sucks. I was at my happiest… Well, near happiest coming back home, but then it all changed. I hate the way I’m always stuck in some situation I can’t seem to fix. It’s been this way for months now, and I just don’t know what to do about it anymore. It’s just kinda… there, and that’s not good, but it’s not good to solve things solely through impulsive thoughts or feelings either. Thennnnn what the fuck do I do? I mean like seriously.. it’s just a LITTLE irritating. I have a great need to vent, but I can’t vent to anyone, because the only person that knows all about this is not a phone call away. Which leaves me no one to talk to. And the fact that people are SO fucking judgmental these days rather than supportive no matter what, doesn’t help either. awsdfrghbjnkml,l whatever. I think I’m done for the night. Fuck it. 

I appreciate that they’re trying to lighten up the conversation, but after the main topic… I don’t think i can be okay for the rest of the night. This really sucks. It reminds me of why I have such a big conflict with myself and what I need to change and make better… 

I know it wasn’t their intention to trigger these thoughts and feelings, but it just sucks. Just when I was forgetting and moving on with the good parts of myself, I just HAD to be reminded of the bad. I really need to vent. But in cases like these… it’s to the point where I can only speak of so much to certain people ): This sucks. 

That I miss you. Why? Because you’re a backstabbing BITCH. No wonder you said all the shit you did to me. You’re really something else. I liked you. You’re a cool girl, but shit I guess not anymore. You’re fucked up. Sorry if you’re jealous that I can be close friends with him when you can’t. You’re almost 21 bitch. Grow the fuck up and act your age. You could probably get any other guy you want. So I wouldn’t even complain. So fucking ridiculous, get over the fact that he doesn’t want you. Don’t go texting me saying you miss me and shit. FUCK IT. You lying back stabbing bitch. asdfghjkl;’

people piss me the fuck off sometimes. ESPECIALLY girls. Which is why I don’t have many girl friends. 

“Voy a querer te cada dia mas<3” Sucks that I won’t be able to listen to that song the same anymore. I hate when people can be such HYPOCRITES. I understand, lying indeed IS A BIG DEAL. I understand that. It’s not cool. Especially depending on the subject. But seriously… this is fucking ridiculous. No one will ever know what I’m talking about or why I’m saying this. But shit… I always find ways to fuck myself over. Whether I try to or not. I fucking HATE it. But what can I do? That’s one less person in my life. They meant the WORLD to me too.</3 Wtf do I do?

(via blogsecret)

Haven’t posted anything up here in a while…
A couple things just needed to be let out:
First off, it bugs the fck out of me when people who marry into families swear like since they’re a part of the family, it means they have the authority to punish younger members of the family or try and take over. I’m sorry for those who are CLEARLY mistaken and think in that way; But you just can’t do that. Things don’t work out that way. The only thing you gain from marrying into a family is not authority, but spending forever with your spouse, and becoming a part of each other’s families. But that’s about it—besides possibly creating your own little household family—No one said it was okay to change some family traditions, or forbid certain family members not to see each other for any reason, just because you are now a part of the family. This may not even make sense to people, but no one reads this anyway. Well, except for ONE person I know for sure reads these from time to time [thanks<3 HG (;]

Second; It bugs me how immature people can be on certain situations. When something doesn’t go their way [OUT OF NOWHERE] They suddenly think it’s okay to avoid you without explanation. Even though they give a reason why they’re upset, doesn’t mean they give a reason as to why they can avoid you forever. It’s stupid and shouldn’t happen. NO MATTER the reason for avoiding the person. Rather than avoiding them right away, GROW SOME BALLS AND MATURITY and simply talk it out with the person.

Third; I hate having that weird vibe you get from a certain someone… especially when it’s ONLY them out of a bunch of other people. Weird as in… How do I explain? Sort of like they seem like they could be bitchy in some ways, even though you haven’t actually seen it. It’s really hard for me to explain, but I really feel like letting this out. But in terms of the bitchy part… I have already started noticing in a certain person I have a weird vibe for. And it sucks. It’s a person who is somewhat an important—or SOON to be important—person to be. [one of many]. Just sucks it has to be that way for just that person and no one else out of their bunch. And yet… I’ve ALREADY been somehow victimized by that person. Even though the situation is something most people would get over quickly, that’s not the case for me such as the few others who arent within the ‘most’ . Family-related issue in which just really sucks, and I just refuse to brush it off so easily. asdfghjkl.; people just bug the shit out of me sometimes. It happens to everyone, I know. And sometimes I shouldn’t even be reacting this way toward some people/situations, but these three things apply to me, and are situations in which I CAN react this way. It sucks. The worst part is… Pretty much most of this post… involves older ADULTS. That’s pretty stupid if you ask me. I’m sorry, it just is. I just expect this type of stuff from younger people.